Letting Go: The Mark of a Noble Heart
وَاِذْ اَسَرَّ النَّبِىُّ اِلٰى بَعْضِ اَزْوَاجِهِ حَدِيْثًا فَلَمَّا نَـبَّاَتْ بِهِ وَاَظهَرَهُ اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ عَرَّفَ بَعْضَهُ وَاَعْرَضَ عَنْ بَعْضٍ فَلَمَّا نَـبَّاَهَا بِهِ قَالَتْ مَنْ اَنْبَاَكَ هٰذَا قَالَ نَـبَّاَنِىَ الْعَلِيْمُ الْخَبِیْرُ
“(Remember) when the Prophet confided something to one of his wives, then when she disclosed it (to another wife) and Allah made it known to him, he presented (to her) part of what was disclosed and overlooked a part. So when he informed her of it, she exclaimed, “Who told you this?” He replied, “I was informed by the All-Knowing, All-Aware” (66:3).
This āyah refers to how Allah spoke about the Prophet ﷺ when some of his wives erred: He “presented (to her) part of what was disclosed and overlooked a part,” choosing not to share everything out of modesty and noble character.
- A noble person overlooks the shortcomings of their family and friends and does not insist on fully accounting for every right.
- Focusing on every small detail in conversation can often embarrass others. Discretion and overlooking minor faults are signs of noble character.
- Affection and love endure only when minor faults are overlooked and small mistakes are forgiven. It has been said: “Nine-tenths of well-being lies in overlooking faults.”
- Many calamities are stopped at the very beginning through discretion and forgiveness.
The Best Spouse
عَسَىٰ رَبُّهُٓ إِنْ طَلَّقَكُنَّ أَنْ يُّبْدِلَهُٓ أَزْوَاجًا خَيْرًا مِّنْكُنَّ مُسْلِمَاتٍ مُّؤْمِنَاتٍ قَانِتَاتٍ تٰٓئِبَاتٍ عٰبِدَاتٍ سٰٓئِحَاتٍ ثَيِّبَاتٍ وَّأَبْكَارًا
“Perhaps, if he were to divorce you, his Lord would replace you with better wives who are submissive (to Allah), true believers, devout, repentant, dedicated to worship, given to fasting — previously married or virgins.” (66:5)
The best spouses are those who embody the qualities mentioned in the āyah.
When the Mothers of the Believers were warned that they might be replaced with others better than themselves, the āyah went on to describe this ‘better’ in seven qualities. All of these qualities point to a high level of faith, noble character, and a preference for the Hereafter over this fleeting world. It is as though the verse provided a detailed explanation of the Prophet’s advice when choosing a spouse: ‘Choose the one who has religion…’.
Reflect:
- If unmarried: How many of these qualities do I possess, and how many of them are important to me in choosing a future spouse?
- If married: How many of these qualities describe me? As a couple, are we supporting each other in developing them?
Protecting Yourself and Your Family
Allah says,
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوْٓا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيْكُمْ نَارًا وَّقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلٰٓـئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُوْنَ اللّٰهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُوْنَ مَا يُؤْمَرُوْنَ
“O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, overseen by formidable and severe angels, who never disobey whatever Allah orders, and always do as they are commanded.” (66:6)
- This āyah emphasises the tremendous responsibility of tarbiyah and safeguarding yourself and your family.
- You are responsible for their worship, and for their character and proper dealings with others. They are a trust placed upon your shoulders, and any negligence in fulfilling this responsibility will be met with accountability and recompense on a day when no excuse will avail.
- “One of the greatest causes of moral deviation I have observed in my work in the judiciary, and through reviewing thousands of cases and hearing about the lives of people, is the prolonged absence of the father from his children.
What Tawbah Really Means?
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوْا تُوْبُوْٓا إِلَى اللّٰهِ تَوْبَةً نَّصُوْحًا
“O believers! Turn to Allah in sincere repentance …” (66:8)
For our tawbah to be naṣūḥ (sincere), we must:
- Stop committing the sin
- Feel a deep sense of regret and remorse over the sin
- Seek forgiveness with the tongue
- Firmly resolve to never return to that sin
- Distance ourselves from corrupt companions
- Make amends if we have wronged another person (e.g. ask their forgiveness or supplicate for them).
Act: Seek out a moment of silence and solitude today to make sincere repentance.
Faith Over Family
Allah says:
ضَرَبَ اللّٰهُ مَثَلًا لِّلَّذِيْنَ كَفَرُوا امْرَأَتَ نُوْحٍ وَّامْرَأَتَ لُوْطٍ كَانَتَا تَحْتَ عَبْدَيْنِ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا صَالِحَيْنِ فَخَانَتَاهُمَا فَلَمْ يُغْنِيَا عَنْهُمَا مِنَا للّٰهِ شَيْئًا وَّقِيْلَ ادْخُلَا النَّارَ مَعَ الدَّاخِلِيْنَ
“Allah sets forth an example for the disbelievers: the wife of Nūḥ and the wife of Lūṭ. Each was married to one of Our righteous servants, yet betrayed them. So their husbands were of no benefit to them against Allah whatsoever. Both were told, ‘Enter the Fire, along with the others!’” (66:10)
- No one should rely on the righteousness of others. Your deeds are your own.
- Whoever disbelieves in Allah and defies His commands will meet their end in Hell alongside their peers. The righteousness of a parent, child, relative or friend cannot save them. True success is measured by adherence to the sharīʿah, not by family ties or tribal loyalty.
- Guidance is only from Allah. A believer’s responsibility is to sincerely guide and educate their family. But if all efforts are made and the family still does not respond, there is no blame on the one who tried. This was the case for Nūḥ and Lūṭ (ʿalayhimas-salām), both resolute and steadfast Prophets, yet their wives disbelieved.
A Timeless Example of Steadfastness Amid Tyranny and Temptation
Allah mentions the prayer of the wife of Pharaoh:
وَضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا لِّلَّذِيْنَ آمَنُوا امْرَأَتَ فِرْعَوْنَ إِذْ قَالَتْ رَبِّ ابْنِ لِيْ عِنْدَكَ بَيْتًا فِيْ الْجَنَّةِ وَنَجِّنِيْ مِنْ فِرْعَوْنَ وَعَمَلِهِ وَنَجِّنِيْ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِيْنَ
“And Allah has cited for the believers the example of the wife of Firʿawn (Pharaoh), when she said, ‘My Lord, build for me, near You, a house in the Paradise, and deliver me from Firʿawn and his (evil) doing, and deliver me from the unjust people.’” (66:11)
- Āsiyah (ʿalayhas-salām) is a role model for every believer facing temptation or pressure. Surrounded by tyranny and corruption, she kept her heart attached to her Lord and chose faith over worldly luxury. Although she lived in the palace of one of the most powerful rulers on earth, she sacrificed comfort, status, and security for the sake of Allah, and endured severe suffering as a result. Yet this sacrifice elevated her to one of the greatest ranks ever granted to a woman.
- The scholars mention that by mentioning ‘near You’ before ‘a house’, she chose her neighbor before the house i.e. what was more important to her was that she enjoys the proximity and closeness to Allah than the house itself. This brief, yet powerful duʿā’ speaks volumes of her deep awareness, love and longing for Him.
The Legacy of Asiyah and Maryam: Models of Faith and Sacrifice
وَمَرْيَمَ ابْنَتَ عِمْرَانَ الَّتِىْ أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيْهِ مِنْ رُّوْحِنَا وَصَدَّقَتْ بِكَلِمَاتِ رَبِّهَا وَكُتُبِهِ وَكَانَتْ مِنَ الْقَانِتِيْنَ
“And (Allah has also cited the example of) Maryam, daughter of ʿImrān who guarded her chastity, so We breathed into her Our spirit, and she testified to the truth of the words of her Lord and His books, and she was one of the devout.” (66:12)
- Sacrifices are not exclusive to men. They are a sign of sincere faith and strong conviction. Women have always played a vital role in daʿwah, carrying its responsibilities and embodying its principles in both their private and public lives.
- A woman’s honour lies in her chastity and guarding her modesty, abundant worship and heartfelt humility.
- If you seek success, be like the best of women, Maryam and Āsiyah (ʿalayhimas-salām): obedient to Allah, submissive to His command, content with His decree, deeply connected to Him and preferring the Hereafter over this worldly life.
Reflect: What is my criterion for ‘success’? And how much of it aligns with the Qur’anic criterion?
14. Calling Upon Allah by His Names
